Letter to Ashly 2
November 3, 2025
Revised/Modified on August 15, 2026 for this website and for typos and an additional piece of information.

Before you read this letter view these PDF's first: SH-1 SH-2 SH-3 SH-4 SH-5

This letter started out as an outline for a video I was going to do for you, but the information became immense, so it has become a uniquely formatted letter solely.

Most Important - Apologize & Praise:
• I take full responsibility for my actions and all events that have happened, I am sorry and by no means am I trying to back pedal or make excuses even if it may seem that way, but everything happens for a reason, there are causes & effects. (See What Happened Folder)

• This comment is about the discipline/abuse period:
It is obvious to me now that these were traumatic experiences for you and I am so sorry not just for the events themselves, but how it made you feel then and even today. To say I wish I could take it back or have done something different is not going to change what has happened, but the things done, surely I'm telling you were not by malice or intentional, it wasn’t because I did not love you or regretted having you it was because I let the business, house renovations, and all the stress, problems, fatigue and more to take control of me and I lost control of myself.

I did not know how bad this was till I saw your TikTok videos (TT-1, TT-2, TT-3a) and then had to console with your mom to get more insight on this and she supported you on this issue, but your mom said even though there were incidents they were not as many as you seem to present. She said there were a few times that were excessive and that you possibly believe that all of your disciplining was abusive. She mentioned about the mark on your face, she said you were 6 years old and that the back issue was not like you mentioned and I saw the pictures at the police station and all there was, were my four finger imprint on your lower back, more on this later in the letter.

I need you to know this and you can ask your mom if you two every get passed your differences also, but your mom and I were painting an office building and she was pregnant with you and she slipped somehow off whatever she was standing on and fell and when she did her foot & leg went through the floor were the HVAC vent cover was suppose to have been, but had been removed so the floors could be sanded. I heard the commotion and went to check on her and once I seen she was ok then the panic went into me about you and if you were ok, I immediately fell to my knees praying to GOD for you to be ok. I really wanted you and I wanted a girl and not a boy and even though I got what I asked for which was for you to be ok and a girl I still lost you anyways (You are my blessing!).
You really have the wrong idea about me and how I feel about you. I want to try and make up for whatever I can. As far as Zoe, I swear on my life, over the bible or whatever I would have to swear on to you to believe that you don’t have to worry about her with me. (There will be more on this later in this letter.)

• This comment is about the divorce period: -

• Think about this does it seem logical or mentally sound to wake up one day with everything going so well and decide I want to throw everything away, family, home & autos, business, finally reaching financial prosperity, and everything thing else?
Obviously something happened! – I’m going to present to you things that happened from my perspective and in the folders on the thumb drive I gave you is documentations or articles from my various therapist to support what I’m explaining. I am sorry how this event affected you as well, hopefully after seeing and reading the contents of this outline letter and supporting information you will understand.

• Ashly I am very proud of what you have accomplished and overcome, your survival instincts are strong. From what I can remember it all started when you went to France (Remember I gave permission for you to go, I am for you, not against you) and being robbed there and almost stranded, but you sought out solutions instead of throwing in the towel.
Then you moved to Atlanta, to take on a large metropolitan city like that one showed you are determined to prove yourself.
Next you moved to a place that I always wanted to see and even Clayton wanted to go there, the great Down-Under, Australia. Then there the greatest challenge began, you got married, had a child, then you were introduce to life’s harsh lessons, that not everything last and dreams become shattered and you find yourself divorced needing to care for a child (See TT-9 & TT-10) but determination to be a great parent and fierce independence inside you to provide for your daughter and yourself, for both of you to have a good life was your goal. You worked, you took care what needed to be done, you went to college and excelled far greater than I did in my education, therefore I am very proud of you in all that you have accomplished and overcome. I believe you will succeed in everything you set your desires and goals on no matter what may possibly try to hinder you.

• Somewhere along the way in my life I learned something (See Cause & Effect 8) which was how to strike someone’s nerve or motivate them by what I said to get a reaction, sometimes it was meant for good and sometimes it was meant to hurt because of how someone made me feel. In the case with you I said some things not out of spite, but to challenge your psyche, which seems like the results I was looking for succeeded, however, myself not realizing that negative words have consequences too and it cost me your respect, I am sorry I was wrong!. I should have motivated you in a positive way, but life taught me wrong.

• I also want to mention that I am impressed with your workouts, your motorcycle, and the family fun that I have seen all of these on your TikTok Videos.

• A few times after all of the devastation had happened you asked me the “Why” questions and I could not answer you then because I was asking myself the same question and dealing with the confusion and pain just as you were, so we were fighting against ourselves for answers that just could not be answered at that time. However, after years of behavioral health & spiritual therapy and many, many conversations with a few true supporting friends I am a better person and a lot of answers have been made clear to me and can now give you answers too.

• I am going to explain to you the best way I know how too on the devastation that happed to our family. I will try to do it in a linear, chronological timeline, and as fluid as I can, but I might blend some things together as for their relevance. I also may add comments in between ideas as thoughts pop up. Now for someone who is a psychology research major, then knowing that everything that cause negative issues in a person’s life seems to start back in the beginning, childhood and that is where I am going to start, but keep the following consideration as listed below:

Considerations:

• Be Open minded
• Distinction between Objective and Subjective
• This is from my perspective, We all have a different viewpoint of what took place and fragmented memories, my main viewpoint is it should have never happened at all no matter how many or few times or age ranges, I can say this now, because I have fixed what was wrong and I see and understand more clearly now.
• Read and listen with both your head & heart to understand not to respond
• Understand that people no matter who say things they don't mean, they say it because they are hurting for a reason(s) only known to them; Hence- Hurt people Hurt People
• Attitudes - we all have them; consider what this means then & now, life and or this letter, and the both of us.
• How are we going to handle & deal with the situation and forgive & heal, to reconcile & let restoration to take place?
• Cause & Effect – everything happens for a reason. (See What Happened: Cause & Effect 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• External influences that affect us, like the following: Stress, Fatigue, Disappointments, Fear, Failures, Traumas, etc…

Half a picture is not a whole picture, just like half a story is not the complete story.
You know only what you know, but not everything and in your field of education and research the goal is to get ALL THE FACTS and not to form an opinion based on feelings no matter the circumstance.
Trying to explain everything in a letter does allow for the feelings of the actual experiences.

My life history:

• Dad left when I was 2 – I did not want to do that to you, to our family because I lived it and know what it felt like not to have a dad around; however, life pushed me till I screwed up and broke.

• Mom was a weekend alcoholic (See BH-22) she and her boyfriend drank every weekend from Friday evening to Monday morning nonstop and sometimes they would physically fight and destroy household furnishings, this is one reason why I don’t drink. By the way I am an authority on living with alcoholics and your mom is no alcoholic, just because someone may drink a couple or few beers a night or every night does not make them an alcoholic and no you don’t have to like that a person drinks, but yes it does affect them to some degree that is hard to deal with, but you just have to remember what was good about them. Be positive or be negative, choose the former!

• Mom did not do parental guidance – I ran the roads as early as 6 years old, but it was this that taught me how to meet people and the beginning of learning my own independence (I am GEN X). This is why I probably did not bond with you also, because I did not get attention & bonding from my parents (See About Me -1a)

• Mom did not discipline me, no physical abuse - So this is where I am confused about abuse issues within in our own family. I did not even get grounded or made to stand in corners. I learned all of these discipline examples from others.

• Mom did verbal abuse – I remember her doing this, but what she said I never really let it bother me enough to hold on to what she said – or maybe it did and it’s the reason I said the things I said because I learned by example!

• Knife Threat - from my mom while she was drunk (This was comical)

• Financial challenges – Our living environment: My mom did the best that she could base on her situation and circumstances; she had health problems like myself now and had to live on government assistance. I remembered the houses we had to live in that look like they were run down with holes in the walls, had not been painted in years therefore looking dirty and nasty, porcelain bathroom and kitchen fixtures that were from like WWII era and once was white, but now looked like a white dirty sock color that had been worn for two weeks, cracked windows that made it hard to stay warm in the winters, no a/c we just use boxed fans in the windows.

• We did not have a car, we walked, took a cab or bus. And there is more but you should be able to get the picture and I did not want that for our family, so yes, we (Your mom and I) were young as you mentioned in one of your TikTok videos, but we tried our best which you don’t seem to understand. How many parents at the ages of 16 & 19 can or have bought a house, started & ran a business, agreed to stay together and keep a unplanned pregnancy (most don’t make it they split apart and mainly the male leaves the woman with the child – which is still what happened with us, but for other reasons) with no help or support in any area. We learned one day at a time, we made mistakes just like everyone else including you as you mentioned in one of your TikTok videos. (TT-9),

• My sister’s, both left home when they were teenagers, I don’t really know why even to this day. Betty is the one who mostly did the caretaking of me. Both of them are 10 years older than me and so if you do the math I was the only child in the house starting at the age of 5 or 6 years old from what I can remember, it’s hard to remember anything prior to 5 years old.

• Head trauma - x4 - Once when I was 5-6 years old I fell down two story house steps in the winter on icy steps, second time was in elementary school while playing on slide & swing combo another kid accidentally pushed me off the slide and as I was falling my head hit a metal trapeze bar cracking it open and bleeding, the third time was by a bully, I had just made a baseball bat in wood working shop and the bully grabbed it and slammed it into my forehead and a knot formed about the size of your fist now, the last you already know, which was when I got robbed doing my job at Domino’s (See What Happened: Trauma 1, 2, 8, )

• No childhood, started working at 8 yrs old (See About Me: 2a) I did not get to have much fun as a kid then or got to do anything like kids did, all I knew was how to work which is what I learned was fun, but too much fun can still have consequences. To put it in a perspective, I was working so much and hard that I was making more money than my mom’s boyfriend at the time. And because I worked so much I did not really have many friends and the ones I did have I probably bought because of what I had which was a car that I bought at age 16 and I was able to shuttle everyone around. There are more stories I would love to share with you, good ones and bad ones. I want you to really know me and let it come from me.

• Bullying – learned to stand my grounds, but I was taught bad advice on dealing with bullies & people when trying to win no matter what the situation was and TV was not a good influence as well, this is some of the reasons I was the way I was.

• Other Discipline/Corrections: as mention earlier my mom did not discipline me, however, Patty slapped me across the face because I disrespected my mom in a conversation and my oldest sister Ruth had disciplined me with a switch, and in elementary school my principle & sixth grade teacher had punished me with a wooden paddle with holes in it mind me saying, and each of these corrections left marks and I remember them, but they did not scar me. In fact when it came to disciplining you (Ashly) I didn’t start with physical punishment first. (I’m sorry that I hurt you, Ashly, physically & emotionally)

•Air Force dream, ROTC, Snowball – I wanted to go into the Air Force and be a pilot, I did ROTC only to see my dreams crushed because of two things, when I was 12 years old I threw a snowball at a moving car and there was a police officer behind the car and he pulled over and I had to go to juvenile court and got a felony charge (which does not follow me in the adult world). Now even though I was a kid, the charge was still held against me and preventing me from going into the Air Force. The second reason is I was told I could have gotten a waiver for that charge by a political office; don’t remember which, so same results. I was so honored that you decided to do ROTC 1 & ROTC 2 and once again you out did your dad in this area as well. I’m sorry you did not get to go in the air force either. (See Other folder, in Additional TikTok Videos folder and go to Daughter folder then read, READ ME txt and see TikTok-AF video)

• We got pregnant – So like all kids exploring our urges and sexuality your mother and I found ourselves pregnant with you, so yes you were not planned, but that does not mean we did not want you or did not love you. And NO! We did not consider abortion (Interesting, you seemed like you approve of this type of procedure) as you mentioned in one of your TikTok videos. (TT-1) Yes we were concerned and scared because we were still young kids ourselves with no experience, but we both accepted the responsibility that we knew we had to do for you. When we brought you home from the hospital after you were just born, I was concern about a safe transport that I ask one of my business mentors if he would come to the hospital in his Mercedes-Benz to pick us up and bring you home and he did. Now what I am about to explain, you were too young to know, but I wanted you to have a special bedroom/nursery, I painted the walls pink and the trim was a powder blue. Your mother and I went to SEARS to buy all of your needs like stroller, car seat and more, we wanted the best for you!

• Career choices – Since I did not have any guidance in career choices and not explained the pros & cons of the various fields and was already learning the self employment opportunities, then was seduced by the money I was generating so I decided to continuing doing what I knew. None of the mentors I worked for offered advice because they had someone working for them that were good at what needing to be done, always available mostly, and the most important was I was affordable (cheap). And with all that because I got use to being my own boss it has been another source of my problems especially when comes to working for other business, which is I don’t like being told what to do or dealing with people who are ignorant and have no understand on a proper way of doing things. However, feeling this way is pride and it is said “Pride comes before the fall!”
Just like me to think I know it all when in reality I was fooling myself and trying to impress others. Now you see this is one reason for the devastation.

Stress of running a business: :(I’m not going to explain in detail on all of the following, way to much)

• Scheduling Appointments, Doing Sales & Estimating – this was done mostly at nights or rainy days so adding this to the work schedule that is why my work days were 16+/- hours long and that you hardly seen me or we never had time to do anything.
• Learning different aspects of the business & all services offered, adding new services to be versatile so if business slowed on one maybe another would help replace the needed income.
• Business License & Insurance - $ 2,000 +/-
• Home base business zoning regulations – because where we lived I was able to keep the equipment there as S.E. was not consider a desired area so it did not matter to the city how the neighbors may have felt about how it was perceived having something that cluttered up an area, that is why I put the carport in to try and hide how things looked and to protect equipment from theft. But all of this cost money and would have cost more if I would have had to rent commercial storage space.
• Buying tools & equipment – here are some examples of cost, the commercial walk-behind mowers were $6,000 a piece, trailers $2,000 +/-, trimmers $300+, blowers $500+/-, seal coating equipment $10,000+/-, snow removal equipment for the trucks $5,000+/-, Three trucks as listed: $25,000, $18,000, $30,000 +/- dump truck, Leaf Vac system $5,000+/- and so on…
• Dealing with equipment repairs – so when something needs to be fixed and it needs to be now, but the part is not available and has to be order and you have to wait and explain to all the customers for the setbacks, some understood and some did not and lost customers, so then I had to buy more equipment and tools for standby and this took more money from us to have fun or personal we may have wanted.
• Employees - schedules & payroll, theft from some of them, other violation of trust.
• Show or No show – whether work would or would not get done which happened a lot with the people I chose to work, but no it was not ok for me to get upset about this knowing what it was going to cost my family if the business failed and the money disappeared, how was things going to get paid and so on.
• Training
• HR understanding
• Customer demands & complaints
• Weather conditions – this was one of the biggest issue with the lawn & landscaping aspect of the business and use to worry the hell out of me because this was where 80% or more of our income came from.
• Administration responsibilities
• Accounting & Billing
• Court appearances for collection – this was very, very rare because of the way I handle people, they knew to pay me, however my methods were wrong and because I got use to practicing wrong methods I incorporated them in to everything and this was bad because I applied them to the family environment too and I am sorry, very sorry for that! (See documents)
I was so worn out at times I would drop off the crew at a job site that would take a few hours or more then I would come back home to take an hour nap no more than two hours sometimes.

Stress of restoring a house: (I’m not going to explain in detail on all of the following)
• Permits
•Zoning ordinance
• Inspections
• Project planning & cost
• Licensed contractors or self able
• Scheduling between business & home restoration
•Regular maintenance & repairs

Financial Stress:

• Bankruptcy 1991-1993, this is probably why I got so concerned about the finances and allowed fear to steer me the wrong way with more bad habits and still plays a big role in my life today. I never want to cheat anyone out of anything, I always want to pay my bill and I always have even today pay my bills the first day I receive a bill, I was concerned about losing the house a few times because people did not pay me on time and I could not pay like I always had and there was never a surplus or savings to fall back on for protection so this drove my anxiety. No one wants to lose their home or the place they live in, but most of all they don’t want their family to be affected also by such an event. I hated having to ask you and your mom to wait on things you both wanted or not asking at all mostly to try and better the business so we could have better & more things later, to be able to travel and do recreational things, but that all went down the drain and not because of anything I did, it was just business. The business failure (read more below in this letter) and the fear that came with it was more than I could handle at this point. (See What Happened: Trauma 1, 3, 4, 5, 9, )

Trying to balance and be aware of everyone needs:

• Our family, Clayton, when ever my sisters and their families needed something (this was not often) the people who worked for me and some that I trusted to live in my house and one of them betrayed me (won’t talk about this), my customers ranging from fifty to hundred accounts (So I had more than one boss). Everyone wants to think the world revolves around them and you have to try and figure out how to pacify them, self centeredness; I learned to be a great juggler, so I thought!

Dealing with Trauma & Drama

• Child abuse situation

• I will explain this again and not trying make excuses or put the blame off on you Ashly, the night that led to the abuse scenario, you had been getting in trouble for a few days and doing the lighter punishment of taking things away or having you stay/stand in the corner was not working, so a spanking is what was next. I put it off till bedtime because I wrestled with doing it at all because I didn’t want too, however, if you think about this really hard maybe you might remember, while you were laying in bed I had you to turn over and I covered you with the comforter to soften the impact, but you or no one wants to be struck so the natural instinct is to get out of the way which is what you were trying to do by flip flopping around like a fish out of water which caused the covers to come off just as I was landing my hand to your bottom, but my hand struck your lower back. Otherwise if I was trying to intentionally hit you to cause pain why would I take the time to cover you up and why was the four finger marks on your lower back not on the upper part of your back or anywhere else?

• You mentioned in your TikTok Video that your whole back was bruised; the pictures I saw at the police station only showed a mark of four fingers. Even though I was never punished that way by my mom, when I was growing up correction was done with corporal punishment, it was done by hand spanking, spanking with a paddle or belt, and as I mentioned somewhere in this message that my sister even used a switch on me.
However, these days I understand now the fallout of what was done then verses a more different approved method today, but when this happened it was then and not now and once again I am sorry. As for any other times I cannot speak of since it was so long ago and so many things going on creating stress, anger, fear, fatigue and etc that to be honest and I have told this to others that I knew I had a child daughter, but I did not remember much about your presents because how busy I was, so to me it is hard to think I did something when it seems I was never around to see you to do anything.

• The other one incident your mom confirmed was the one you mentioned about the face and the age is in questioned but that’s not the important part, now that does piss me off because I cannot believe I did that at all and why, wrong is wrong, but was it just a spontaneous reaction maybe because you said something I did not approve. Even I have issues with this and don’t agree even with an explanation or not. This one I won’t just ask for forgiveness, I beg for it! – I would never want to hurt you on purpose!

• For three years we all felt the pain and struggles even though there were differences for each of us.

• I don't know everything you went through, but I know you were moved around to several homes for various reasons. I believe I remember you saying the best location was with a black woman.

• The system expressed things where it was concerning you while in custody, your evaluation.

• Then there were all of the investigations on me, all of the psychological testing and therapy sessions. They could not establish or find cause to charge me and send me to jail; it was considered discipline gone wrong.

• The system never offer any additional therapy or any type of assistance for any of us.

• I don't have a violent record. I am not that well liked, powerful enough, intelligent enough to avoid or get around the legal system, there is nothing there and be gladly to give anyone legal permission to information to do a full legal background investigation. (See Background Check) (Recently acquired: Roanoke City Social Services/CPS)

• I was a realtor for a very short period in Tennessee and the background check was extreme it was on the level of a FBI background check, it was conduct by TBI (Tennessee Bureau of Investigations)

• I have snapshots of a conversation message that you had with Monique (See Other-12 &13) where you told her your thoughts about the things happened between you and me and that you express that I hit all of my women. Ashly there has only been three women in my life and you as a female.
There were issues with them, with your mom, she understood everything and to be fair maybe she just loved me too much and dealt with me as I was. I did slap her once in the car driving down the interstate because she would not stop yelling at me even when I pleaded with her to stop so to get her to stop I did hit her, yes this was wrong, back then I did not see another option (and I guess I remembered from one or more TV shows that when someone is frantically screaming to slap them to get their attention), today I do, I should have just pulled over and got out and start walking and let her have the car, but I was young & stupid then.

• Also she wants to hold me accountable for being upset and slamming a kitchen cabinet door shut and it popping off and striking her like I knew that was going to happen as if I planned it.

• Debbie, I had to take to court to get my stuff back.

• The other Michelle, was very complicated because she was habitual alcoholic and I was with her in a Co-dependence relationship and I’ll be glad to express everything with you another time as her and I were together for 8 years and there is too much laundry that I don’t want to air out here and now because this letter is about our family, mainly you and I.

• I was suppose to provide and protect you, but it looks like you needed protecting from me in at least a couple/few cases and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life and I hope you understand that I understand that.

My mom dying

• My mom was robbed and had her head cracked open, during this episode she had a heart attack, she survived all that, but after affects happened a few days later, another heart attack, so she went to the hospital, while there her blood pressure was listed as Low blood pressure, I didn't know that was bad, I always heard High blood pressure was bad and the doctors acted nonchalant about it, so we went home and went to bed. We were woken to be told she had died, but she was brought back, however in a coma state, later they tell us the family that she was brain dead, but because her heart still beats she would be on life support till a family member gave the order to remove her from the machine. So the family, my two sisters and one of their husbands all appointed me as the legal proxy. After discussing everything with the family to get full consent I had to give the order to allow my mom to pass on, got any idea how hard that was and living with that for the rest of my life?

•Business collapse/loss (See What Happened: Trauma 3, 4, 6, 9, )

Lost 3/4 of the business contracts because other companies under bided me.

A loss of $75,000 all at once

• Mental breakdown/business trauma (See What Happened – Trauma 5)

It appeared that everyone was having trouble dealing with how I was acting, the distress, I was crying a lot, I lost 20 lbs in under a month, everyone said you need to find some friends to talk to instead of taking the time to talk with me themselves, that’s why I started getting on Yahoo Messenger.

I believe now that maybe all of you didn't understand what was going on, why I was acting like that because I tried to shield you all from everything by not telling anyone the issues. I remember talking to you, Ashly, in the hallway about our wellbeing concerns, don't remember exactly what I said. Do you remember the conversation? Surely, if you do remember, that was an odd behavior which you must have wondered why.

• Psychiatrist not psychologist (See What Happened – Therapy 1, 2, 3)
Doctor suggested that while talking on Yahoo messenger to use the platform as a fantasy roll to get outside of my head, to not think and focus on my situation. This is what lead to the divorce because you seen and read the Yahoo Messenger messages and did not know what was going on, I tried to tell both you.

• Medications – The doctor put me on 150 mg of antidepressants and was considering on starting me on intravenous does first because of his concerns as to the level of trauma that was going on with me, even mentioned something about me possibly being a case study. I can discuss more about this with you if you want.

•College Education: ECPI
I expressed to your mom about possibly needing to move out of Roanoke for career position and she rejected that, I felt no support even when I was trying to recover and still provide.
Then I was told from one of my instructors that I would never make the money that I made doing my property maintenance business and that I should go back to doing it. That was a hard blow confused, angry, and scared to say.
This was a waste as it never benefitted me and it created a debt.

• After watching your TikTok Video (TT-22) great advice, you are very intelligent.

• Divorce (Listen to understand, not to react or respond )

Ashly it’s my understanding you got into my Yahoo account and read conversations that were going on with Debbie and I, and you told your mom,(Which I understand you telling your mom and I am not mad I sure I would have done the same myself if I was in that situation) both of you were not aware of the doctors fantasy play request (See What Happened – Therapy 1, 2, 3).
I tried telling you both, but you both were furious and strife finalized my ability to handle any more pressure, I felt you both turned on me and felt unsupported, so I decide to make fantasy into reality, but I paid a serious price on both sides. (Even GOD tried to tell me not to do what I did, but I was too far gone, I was broken)

I refinanced the house in my name only giving your mom and you the whole full equity that was available, $10,000

I wasn't going to sell the house, I was going let everyone stay and I would just leave, all that would be needed is to pay the mortgage as if was rent that was being paid and the utilities. But then everyone start complaining saying they were going to move out on their own, so I didn't want to deal with that from a far, so I decide to sell.

So, now from what I have heard how much this angered & hurt you for what came next, the disruption to your life, you expressed your thoughts & feelings strongly about me and what your mom should have done and child support, etc. First off, I am not upset by anything you may have said at anytime for any reason because there were things you did not know or understand and you had concerns and feelings you were dealing with and in some case you were probably exposed to others thoughts about some or all of the issues going on and were swayed by the comments.

I am sorry your lifestyle change to a worse scenario, but as far as the child support I hope by now that since you are older and more mature now and had having family issues of your own that you now understand what child support is all about.
The offer to your mom was for both of you, this was the best option and there is a list of people who agree. I could have paid the child support amount that would have been imposed, but that would have only been for up to three years, however, by your mom waiving the support and taking the remaining business and accounts and working them and she knew how, she would be able to have continual income much longer than three years.

One of the things that made it hard for your mom was that I did not teach her how to run the business, she knew how to do the work and I failed her by not teaching her things, but like you she is strong and a survivor and learned. (In reality I just never thought anything like what happened would have happened in order to plan on teaching her so she would be prepared, but I should have for other reasons like if I would have died for any sort of reasons)

An additional thing I failed with your mom was proper communication, I did not consult with her on much of anything, I just did what I thought was right or needing doing and once again I was wrong, but I did not do it intentional, I was trying to be the man of the house and provide and protect, but all I was able to do was introduce chaos.
Your mom told me I was a good provider, but not a good father & husband (That hurt because that was not my intentions, I wanted the best for all of us). She then said that you both would have rather had less stuff and had more of the real me and not had all the drama & troubles and especially all the negative personality issues that I was introducing into the family, yelling & complaining, in other words, being an ass and other derogatory words.

We all lost something more valuable than just material things and a lifestyle, we lost each other and time with each other that cannot be given back or replaced (No one really wants this and I did not mean for all of this to happen.) We have lost birthdays, holiday events, mostly Christmas, Tooth Fairy & Easter Bunny, reading bedtime stories, helping you with driving lessons and your first car, your weddings and so much more. But we can start from now and try again and build a better ending to our story. Your mother, Tommy and I all are all friends and we talk, we have reconciled and have respect for one another. Hopefully, you will let us heal together too and reconcile also, it’s up to you, your choice, your timing, and no pressure other than I am not getting any younger.

• Now, my head trauma,

I get assaulted doing my job on my day off for a female co-worker. I came in late evening to finish her shift, she was scheduled to close, but she had a morning job also and was tired and needed to be relieved. Just imagine what might have happened to her; No good deed goes unpunished!
So, we know what happened next.

The head trauma was so bad I lost three weeks of memory which included a few hours prior to the assault.
Then you were notified and you and your family flew in because of the concerns that I might die. I was in a trauma state, but still partially aware, I remember you, Zoe, and Luke being there, the one and only time I got see my granddaughter.
Then you getting upset with me for wanting to leave the hospital to be with all of you, but the hospital, the doctor (Granted me to leave and that I could come back a week later to have the staples remove from my head, that was the whole issue), and the nurse, someone dropped the ball, the discharge approval orders were not made known, so they didn't want to let me go, so I pushed back hard and you didn't seem to understand what happened or rather that you did not like my reaction. And with all of that tension it affected my memory and I don't even remember what happened with you and the family, I don't know if I got to tell you I love you and good bye to all of you.

Then I heard that the detectives expressed that if the perpetrators got caught then the state would reimburse you (Ashly) & Luke for the cost you endured to come in from Australia, but because I couldn't remember and didn't care because I was grateful for being alive with no repercussions, it was presented that you were upset that I wasn't helping, I just couldn't!

Now two years after the head trauma, again remind you the level of head trauma there are going to be some repercussions, there are studies on this, (See What Happened - Trauma 8), it seems I said something to you very profound that upset you and according to you in your own words, you told me “I could not see or be part of Zoe’s life" and I believe I understand now why you said that.
However, I supposedly said I was going to kidnap Zoe, I don't remember this, but knowing myself its possible because of the condition I was in also the fact in the past I would say things to inflict pain & hurt back and usually stronger. But, it would seem that you would have seen how ridiculous that would be to do, everything involved and why, what reason, and what would you expect I would do if I would be able to pull it off? (See What Happened – Abuse 4 & 5)

Final Thoughts - I guess I don’t understand your demeanor or animosity towards me based on something I said, an empty threat after having head trauma two years prior and I don’t remember even saying. I am curious if I said something in a metaphor or analogy that was miss understood, because prior to that, all the things that have been mentioned it did not seem to have had an impact on our relations based on the things we did like going to amusement & water parks in Virginia, North Carolina, Ohio, Maryland, Tennessee and Florida. Also going on other road trips like to New York and Niagara Falls Canada.
You never seemed distant or unhappy and smiled & laughed. You seemed receptive to me when I came to your high school graduation (you gave me a Christian tie and I am wearing it in one or more of the pictures in the library folder) and when Clayton & I came to visit you in Atlanta and while there I did something with you that went against my beliefs which was I had a mixed drink with you because you had just reached the age to drink and you want me to celebrate with you and I did because I love you and I was happy to see you.
Also you came to the hospital when you thought I was going to die, but now you seem to not care and in your own words in a TikTok Video TT-3a“The sad things is I don’t have anything to do with my parents anymore” also “My dad is dead to me!” I don’t really feel you mean this, I believe you are still hurting and that’s what I want to believe. How about this I forgive you and you forgive me!? (TikTok-14 &17)(See Other 7)

Talking about forgiveness when we were a family so to speak, (This is a rhetorical question, could you have ever done anything you think I might not know about when you were a teenager that you think I would not forgive you for it if I did know? Well let’s say if you did and I did know, well I Forgive You! – As a parent as you should know by now, we will forgive our kids for everything, but we will try to let them know we know and to guide & teach them better if we can. Parents are supposed to teach by example, and I failed!

I know you understand about sacrifices(Other-27 & 28) as you mentioned it in your Thesis/Acknowledgment when you thanked your daughter for her understanding and sacrifice for you to go to college to get your degrees to better both or your lives. I just hope you can look back and think about the sacrifices your mother and I went through also.

You also mention another person, you called them a friend first, a colleague and teacher, Dr. India Bryce who I have had the pleasure of speaking with in a few emails when I had sent a letter package via FedEx to you to where I thought was your place of work (Unique Minds) based on the information I had. However, the emails were interesting at least to say and short and she explained that you no longer worked there and did not know how to reach you and that your email addresses were no longer valid.
She said she would return the letter package to me, but I never received it and it’s my belief as to someone that was that close to you would not know how to get a hold of you, but did and gave you the letter package. (But I can’t prove it). So I sent you a second one to your home address again via FedEx and like the first it had tracking information (Other-2a &2b). But once again, I don’t know if you got it or not, so there is another copy of the letter and the pictures I sent and more (Pictures folder) on the thumb drive.

Ashly, you must by now have a better understand what you mean to me, that I love you regardless what has happened in the past (Other-14) which that is not now, by all that I have had to go through to locate you, to try and know you, to try and make contact in various ways to even coming to Australia to your home to prove how much I am willing to do for you, for us. Think is there nothing you would not do for your daughter?

Lastly, with the exception of at least one thing, believe it or not and there are others who would agree with me who have seen your TikTok and that know me, and that you and I are very much alike, you can tell by the things you say and how you say them in your TikTok along with how you process things (TT-6,18,).

The weights & workout and eating & weight loss struggles and the knowledge we both had to study in these areas. We both only have one child currently and she is a girl. Both our dads failed. Relationship issues and whether you want to acknowledge it or not because of our past you struggle with mental health issues too and you have mentioned in a TikTok video as to dealing with anxiety.
I saw the TikTok Video about the person who was vain and hurt you with the comments about how you looked (That hurt & pissed me off because he hurt you) [TT-11]. That was his loss, because you are beautiful in so many ways and you deserve better than him.

I want to know more about you other than what I have seen and heard on TikTok or what I have read (Other- 3 - 4)
I hope that we can have a new beginning and that you will allow me to come see you and Zoe again in the future and more often.

Prayer: “Dear Lord I have done all that I can and know to do at this point, I now need your help to do what I cannot do, so I turn this situation over to you now and I know you and your nature and you are a GOD of Love, restoration, forgiveness, healing, and all things are possible with you. I thank you for my daughter and that you helped me to find her and provided the financial means to be able to go to her in Australia. Thank you for preparing me, healing me to be able to be part of her life once again. I say these things in Jesus name, AMEN!”
I Love You, Ashly, my daughter, my blessing –‘DAD’